


Grief is like a Lotus flower

by MxTrashTM



Series: G-Man oneshots [14]
Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR: AI, half life but the ai is self aware, half life vr ai
Genre: G-man (hlvrai) - Freeform, Gen, Gman (hlvrai) - Freeform, Mr Coolatta - Freeform, Other, The G-man (hlvrai) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27588608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MxTrashTM/pseuds/MxTrashTM
Summary: Trying to come to terms with someone's death is hardEspecially when you feel like you caused itWhen you cared about them so much
Series: G-Man oneshots [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1805167
Kudos: 6





	Grief is like a Lotus flower

You understand the stages of grief  
You've gone through them  
And  
You've come out of it  
Grief is no longer a part of your life  
You've accepted  
No more believing you'll get a phone call  
Or wake up, learning it was all a dream  
Brought on by your fears  
You'll open your eyes  
You'll see them again, sitting there  
In your dreams, when you have them  
When they aren't guilt fueled nightmares  
You see them on the beach  
Sitting, waiting for you  
And  
You'll sit, next to them  
They'll smile  
And you will too  
Verbal communication is beneath the both of you  
All you need to do is look  
And understand  
Then  
You wake up  
You find your face wet, your eyes red

You understand the stages of grief  
And you know you must of gone through them  
Because you  
You aren't in denial  
You know they're are dead  
You saw the news  
These  
These dreams  
Are just another stage of grief  
You will get over it  
You will.

You're back, at the house  
How long has it been since you were away?  
The rotten food in the fridge says for too long  
You clear it out and clean up the place  
You, in fact, spend the whole day cleaning  
As if you were distracting yourself  
But  
What from?  
You're fine.

You can't stand to look at the ocean, for some reason

It's been a few days  
You wake up  
Eat.  
Walk around town.  
Back home at dark.

And repeat  
The townsfolk try to say things to you  
But it's just white noise  
But  
You're perfectly fine.

You never forgot what they're favorite flower was

Lotus.

You can't remember when the conversation was brought up  
You don't need to  
You remember that day  
They gave you a necklace, even know you insisted you weren't the type  
A small lotus flower, trapped in resin.  
They placed it in your hands and firmly clamped your hands shut with theirs  
You remember what they told you it represented

Self-regeneration.

Your physical form could regenerate  
Simple reforming  
Repairing where it is needed  
Your physical form changes or disappears on a whim  
But  
You can only control what is physical.  
You cannot change your emotions  
Mold them to how you see fit  
Or  
You're not good at it, not now, at least  
You wish you could  
It would have made things so much  
No  
You can't think of that  
Using your powers purely to benefit yourself  
It's stupid.

Rebirth.

Your feet carry you to the ocean  
The first time you've looked at since getting back  
The sun is setting  
It's beautiful  
For a split second  
You have a vision  
Them  
They rise out of the water  
They're back.  
You apologize  
You  
You're sorry  
So  
So  
So  
Sorry.  
They forgive you, you hug  
They're reborn.  
Brought back by the sun's setting rays and the ocean  
Then  
It's gone  
And you're on your knees  
You can barely breath, the sobs force themselves out of your body  
You can't stop  
You can feel the necklace slip out from under your shirt as you lean foward on the sand  
Even know your eyes are closed, you find it.  
For a second you want to rip it off, throw it in the ocean  
But  
Instead  
You hold it, tight.  
You cry.

Morning comes eventually.

You wake up to your clothes soaking wet  
You're surrounded by the ocean  
The waves lap gently against your face  
You cried yourself to sleep, passing out in the beach  
You stand up, brushing off your clothes  
The necklace is still there

You look out to the ocean  
It looks so much different in the morning rays  
You feel emotions you can't quite pin a name on  
You wipe your eyes  
You head back inside the house  
You can look at the ocean now  
It's beautiful  
Almost as much as they were.


End file.
